My grandma passed away a year ago on June 30th. I have been thinking a lot about her the last couple months and it has been hard. I feel I was in denial, the realization that she has been gone hasn't really hit me until about two months ago. I watched them close the casket and set her in the vault to be put in the ground.
It was very hard watching someone you spent a lot of your summers with as a child into your teen years being buried. I went to her grave several times and it just never hit me. As I started thinking about it these last months, it sunk in, she IS gone! So I have been moody, depressed, and stressed. On June 30th, one whole year after, I went to Hy-Vee and purchased a beautiful bouquet of flowers. I set out to the cemetary with Gavin in the backseat. I arrived at the cemetary, and sat in the car looking at her grave for a while before i actually went to set the flowers out on her stone. Gavin was in the back seat laughing and talking. I wasn't interacting with him, just simply listening to him. As I walked over to the grave, I looked back at him and seen he was content still laughing and playing. I sat by her grave and talked to her, even though she wasn't there nor could respond, Gavin continued to talk to someone. I feel he saw her and was associating with her. Everyone else may find it crazy but I believe he sees her and talks to her. It was a hard experience to deal with but at least I know she is gone and I can face reality.
It was very hard watching someone you spent a lot of your summers with as a child into your teen years being buried. I went to her grave several times and it just never hit me. As I started thinking about it these last months, it sunk in, she IS gone! So I have been moody, depressed, and stressed. On June 30th, one whole year after, I went to Hy-Vee and purchased a beautiful bouquet of flowers. I set out to the cemetary with Gavin in the backseat. I arrived at the cemetary, and sat in the car looking at her grave for a while before i actually went to set the flowers out on her stone. Gavin was in the back seat laughing and talking. I wasn't interacting with him, just simply listening to him. As I walked over to the grave, I looked back at him and seen he was content still laughing and playing. I sat by her grave and talked to her, even though she wasn't there nor could respond, Gavin continued to talk to someone. I feel he saw her and was associating with her. Everyone else may find it crazy but I believe he sees her and talks to her. It was a hard experience to deal with but at least I know she is gone and I can face reality.
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